Inconsequential Rants of a Compulsive Complainer

Online Spring Clean

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:28:00 +0000

Perhaps for the purpose of this post replace the word spring with 'social networking' and then it is more accurate.

Today is a public holiday for the local show in my area. So instead of doing something useful with my time, I spend the morning online. Well actually I was wasting time waiting for the real estate agent to do the routine inspection but there is half an hour to go before the deadline and she has not arrived.

This morning I decided to clean up some of the clutter on those addictive social networking sites I am a member off. Mostly MySpace and Facebook.

On MySpace I went through and deleted around 50 'friends' all of whom were either random strangers or bands trying to force their music onto unsuspecting individuals. My MySpace is down to about 130 friends now. A good start but do I even know 150 people? No, but I do like to have a few favourite bands on there too.

On Facebook I deleted about 50 unused or pointless applications from my page. They were mostly stupid things like 'When will you get married?' or "Armies" or "Send puppies". They seem fun at first then you realise they are just slowing down your page and wasting time. My page loads much faster now.

Isn't it crazy how in this modern era we have so much time to waste on websites such as facebook and myspace and how so much of our energy that could be used for something useful is instead spent spying on friends pages and playing silly games. But it is not like I can really whinge. I am just as guilty as everyone else!

Cute Email I Had To Share

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:42:00 +0000

Very few forwards actually appeal to me. Most are annoying and lame. The occassional cute animal email gets my attention but this one was a rarity that I actually forwarded on.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . . Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

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'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8

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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4

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'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7

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'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

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'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

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'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

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'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

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'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

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'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

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'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6

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'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

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'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4

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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

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'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

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'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

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And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Men Possessed By Football

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 03:11:00 +0000

Have you ever noticed the way a simple football game can suddenly turn a typically calm, non-aggressive male into a complete psychopath. How one moment they are happy to chat about pointless things such as what is for dinner or the day that has been and the next, if you even considered saying a single word to them you would be crucified!

Football seems to have some sort of power over the personalities of almost every male. It becomes impossible to have a conversation of any type with them, at the risk of having your head bitten off. That is unless you are offering food or beer, then they may grace you with a grunt of approval.

You could come to them with a life or matter situation during this ritual of watching other men chase a ball around a field, and still they would not offer you a single moment of their attention. Then, the moment the game and all the after commentary is over, suddenly they magically morph back into their normal selves and wonder why you are avoiding them or are very annoyed with them!

My Obsession With Food

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 08:04:00 +0000

Lately, possibly the delayed effects of Christmas eating and now the excessive binging of chocolate over easter, I have noticed my weight increase. Only slightly. As in a kilo or two, however it is still noticable. Suddenly my usually easily hidden stomach seems to be on the bulging side and my fear in this spreading to the rest of my body has taken hold.

But why is it I find it so hard to motivate myself? It seems the more I think about getting back into shape (I am relatively thin, but somewhat out of shape), it seems that I start eating more.

Today I took my own lunch to work instead of eating the huge work lunches on offer. I took left over spagetti and meatballs and knowing that was carbs at lunch I didn't bother taking any other snacks. But of course it was a co workers birthday and there were cakes and biscuits and chips. So before and after my rather filling lunch I had hand fulls of chips, several lollies, a tim tam and a piece of fudge cheese cake. I wasn't even hungry.

This pattern extends to my home life too. Every night the sweet tooth kicks in and yet another left over easter chocolate is devoured. My sister made the mistake of giving me more on the weekend as we only just saw eachother for easter.

When will this bad habit cease? Not even watching The Biggest Loser every night seems to be motivation enough and the cold weather has kicked in. Cold weather = no motivation for me. I just want to hide in bed!

How I wish I did not love food so much!

The Cost of Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:30:00 +0000

We went to a travel agent the other day to organise our flights for Europe at the end of the year. Unfortunately to go for Christmas it means peak season for flights, therefore far more expensive and we need an extra flight to Munich a few days in therefore the cost of our return flights to Europe, including Paris, to Munich then at the end Warsaw to Paris and home again is just over $3000 Australian. Yikes. I was expecting something closer to the $2k mark but unfortunately this is how expensive it is to live these days.

Good thing I already have all that and more saved up but it means I probably have to pay for half my partners flights until he can save up and pay me back too.

Technology and the Stress It Causes

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:18:00 +0000

Why is it that all new technology never seems to last that long. Like for example, for a 25 year old, I have gone through so many computers because they have simply decided to blow up or something at some random time. I do not mistreat them or do anything that should fast track their death, but it always seems to happen. At least to me.

It was almost a relief but far more of a frustration to see that my partners X Box 360 stopped working the other day. Red lights flashing in the place there should be green. We hoped it would magically start working again the next day. It didn't. It is no longer under warrenty either. He has had it for about 14 months now. So typical. Two months ago he might have been able to get it fixed for free, but now we have no idea what happens and who to call. It'll end up being some random hotline that probably costs a fortune and isn't even located in Australia.

Our microwave is another example. Within the first few weeks we moved out, we thought we'd have a microwave chicken. The whole microwave shut itself down. It does this frequently now when we try cooking something, like popcorn. These days we only use the microwave for warming things up. And rarely at that. It has been taken in for repair at least 3 times under warrenty. The warrenty is no longer valid and they never fixed it anyway. So the time constantly turns itself off and the microwave beeps randomly. We never know when it will have it's last spin but we know the day is soon.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to have less of the modern technology we have these days. But then I enjoy technology.

Earth Hour

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 00:44:00 +0000

I would not say that I am a massive follower of world conservation, however the state of the world does concern me and I do try and do a little something here and there to help it last. We have been on water restrictions for about a year in my state and that does not bother me at all. Even now that the drought has broken, I see no reason to take off the water restrictions. There is no saying when it will happen again.

I think Earth Hour was a great idea last night. I did not go so far as to unplugging all our appliances, however we did turn off all the lights and television etc and left the house for a walk. Partially to kill time when there was nothing else to do and also to spy on the neighbourhood to see who else was going for the Earth Hour power down.

It was in fact very easy to spend an hour without the amusement of television or gaming consoles. My partner and I actually talked and enjoyed each other's company properly for a change. We had romance and communication, and I will gladly do it all again. Nothing like a good cause to get some quality time with your partner!

Killer Teens

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:07:00 +0000

What is becoming of our society? Every morning I read the news headlineson an internet news website and suddenly there seems to be an abundanceof teenager killers in our midst. Not just here in Australia but worldwide.

There is a story of a teenage boy who killed one parent and attempted tomurder the other. A story of a 16 year old boy being found guilty ofstabbing a 15 year old girl. A 16 year old shooting an 18 year old. Thena story from England, where a group of teens aged between 16 and 17murdered a Goth girl and seriously injured her boyfriend. What has happened to our youth?

It seems the world we know is taking aturn for the worse. The very thought that a teenager or child could evencontemplate murdering someone is alarming. When I was that age,teenagers had a very good sense of getting punished. These kids don'tseem to care about consequences, or perhaps they actually think theywon't get caught?

Rain

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:32:00 +0000

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day!

Going back a couple of months we were in a drought. Now it seems it rains every single week without fail to the point where I just wish it would stop. I don't mind a bit of rain at night, or on a day when I don't have to go anywhere, but I hate driving to work and back in the rain. It makes the day drag on for some reason too!

Chocolate, Booze And A Massage

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 02:13:00 +0000

Easter just is not what it used to be. Or at least this one certainly wasn't. My parents were meant to be moving this weekend so they never planned to do anything for Easter. So straight up that is my typical family Easter not happening. Instead we spent Easter Saturday afternoon/evening with my parents, having a family dinner and playing some Playstation 2.

Good Friday was not even the usual fish thing. I am not religious, but despite that my family have always eaten fish and chips on Good Friday. This year, my partners, who is somewhat religious, took us to his friends birthday BBQ instead. Steak, sausages and all that typical BBQ goodness. It was an okay night but definately not Easter feeling.

Easter itself had the morning brunch with my partners family. We always start with blessed eggs etc and wich each other happy Easter. Then there was of course chocolate all round. But that was only in the morning. Last night my partners newly 18 year old brother came over after work and they drank bourban and we played X box 360 with guitar hero and other sillyness. It was fun, minus the alcohol but definately did not feel like Easter.

One thing is for sure. I have some mega back pain going on at the moment for some mysterious reason. It took a bit of pestering but I did get a nice Easter massage yesterday afternoon.

How I Met Your Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:23:00 +0000

My favourite show is back on TV. I was worried we were not going to get the third season here in Australia but it is back. Lucky I happened to be scanning the TV guide or I would have missed it! This show has to be one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. I can watch it over and over and never get bored!

One thing is for sure though, half an hour a week leaves me totally unsatisfied!

Going To The Snow

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:36:00 +0000

Here in Australia it only snows in a few select places down south. It is quite easy for an Australian to go their entire life without ever seeing snow. I am unfortunately one of those people. Twenty-five years old and never seen snow. Never experienced weather so cold it turns everything to ice. I am from Victoria originally and it does snow there in places, but I was born along the Great Ocean Road, so that was not exactly a snow location. I have lived in Queensland most of my life. The coldest temperature we have probably had since I remember is maybe no worse than minus 5 at the very coldest part of the night. Not a time of the night when I was out of bed to experience it. Yet I will whinge and whinge when it is cold. My version of cold. That is say 23 degrees celcius and below. Tragic indeed!

This Christmas, my partner and I, together with his family are taking an extended holiday overseas. He is Polish so he has been there, done it all before, but this will be my first time out of Australia and at the coldest time of the year. I am guarenteed to see and feel the rediculous cold of snow, with a true white Christmas this year. Am I scared? Indeed.

Now I know very well I will need the ultimate in thermal wear, with the most winter proof jacket and every inch of me covered with at least 3 layers of clothing. But finding real winter clothing in Australia is painful. We just do not get that type of extreme cold. Especially not in Queensland. I am even struggling to find online sites that will ship these items to Australia and when I do, these items are several hundred dollars each and it is just insane. So far, this task in finding snow gear is very painful! Not even Ebay is doing the job!

To Change Jobs Or Not

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:13:00 +0000

I have a job interivew Tuesday. It is not that I was looking for a new job because my current job is quite stable, however I was approached by a person I used to work with in my current job. Therefore I told him I would like a significant pay rise and will be interviewing on Tuesday at 2pm. However even before I get a job offer, the stress of deciding is doing my head in. Here is my list of pros and cons for each job.

Current
Pros
Less than 10 minute drive from home
Get along well with mostly everyone mostly all of the time
Keeps me busy
Now has an onsite psychology supervisor to save me paying for private supervision
Likely to get a small pay increase in June

Cons
Not getting paid as much as I'd like
Unlikely to be able to negotiate enough pay even after review in June
Recent conflict with co-workers

Prospective
Pros
Likely to offer more money
A change to experience a more demanding workplace
Conduct assessments on a regular basis
Already know a few people who work there

Cons
Half an hour drive each way, but usually longer due to really bad traffic
Might not get along with everyone as well

The problem with the prospective employment is I still do not know the conditions. I might have bad hours, find myself bored and end up working with horrible people. It is difficult to say until the time comes. I also do not know if they have an onsite psychology supervisor to save me cash on supervision either. I suppose if I get a job offer, then I'll assess which job has more positives and go from there.

Power Trips and Managers

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 21:16:00 +0000

Yesterday I sent an email asking my old manager for advice in what to do in a situation I had not yet dealt with before. As I am stuck doing two jobs, it was a task that falls under her management. Instead of giving me a simple answer and saving a lot of trouble, she was extremely rude and sarcastic in her email. So I sent her a rude one back telling her in future I would refer my questions elsewhere.

Being the bitch that she obviously is, she forwarded this on to my current manager. And she confronted me telling me how rude I was. I told her that her initial reply was rude, hence the reason for my own reply when all I was seeking was some advice for a situation that falls under her management. If she did not know the answer, that would have been fine, but being sarcastic in reply is not fine.

During the conversation she made stupid statements like 'I am a manager now' like this justifies how rude she was, or gives her some special power to treat other people like shit. In my own working experiences, I generally treat all employees as equal. They may be managers, but that does not make them any better than me. That does not give them a right to speak like crap to me. The rest of her conversation was absolutely petty and had no place in being said at that time. Stupid reasons she gave for being rude pretty much which were not justified at all.

Today I will talk to my own manager. I know this is unavoidable however I do believe she will be quite understanding when I explain to her what was said and how unneccessary it was. Also when I explain how inappropriate the other manager has been for some time now. Perhaps she is still cranky because I decided to swap from her team onto the other one and leave her with no counsellor.

It is just really pathetic when someone gets a promotion and they go from being a nice person to an absolute arse! If I ever become a manager, and this is inspiration that I will, there is no way in hell I would talk to my staff in that way. They are there to do you a favour. They deserve your respect and you need to be approachable.

My Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 21:24:00 +0000

It was my father's birthday yesterday. Over the years he has always been incredibly difficult to buy presents for. He works long hours and seems to have very few hobbies, content to just read the paper, watch sport or play card games on the computer. By this time we had all exhausted those options for presents, with various football related items, sudoku subscriptions and other similar items.

I have a Playstation 2. A little behind the times since I always seem to be a console behind, but after convincing my family to play Buzz, the gameshow style game on PS2, we found that Dad loved to play. He was telling everyone how fun that was. Amazing because he wasn't particularly great at it.

So this year I came up with the idea of getting Dad a PS2 and the Buzz games to go with it. Between mum and I we ended up getting him the console, and all the neccessary accessories, 2 Buzz games and buzzers, and a couple of other games, like car racing, AFL, and Fight Night. While it will take a while for him to get the hang of it all, he seemed quite happy with his presents and hopefully now has a hobby.

The funny thing is, it got my partner and I talking about Dad and all things competitive. He is definately a typical father in that he always goes easy on us, even though we have been adults for years and can handle a loss. Like any game, such as playing pool or darts, he always seems to throw the game so we don't lose. It is funny because at our age, we can handle losing, but dad still lets us win like he would if we were 8. Hopefully his competitive streak will kick in for real with the PS2 and he can become a gaming master in no time!

Horror Movies Revisited

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 11:21:00 +0000

As I have mentioned before, I am a big fan of horror films. I will admit that in recent years, they are becoming increasingly gory, to the point where I am wondering whether I am either getting told old or they really are pushing the limits as far as what they do show on screen. However new or old, there are certain themes that appear throughout the history of horror films. Some of which drive me insane.

The most frustrating of these is the typical main character. The film often opens with this person, a young, good-natured and generally well behaved teenage girl (who is not really a teenager but a 20something pretending to be a teenager). This girl will at some stage become the main target for the psycho killer/monster and have many near misses, often running up the stairs of a house, therefore trapping herself or leaving herself no option but to roll out an upstairs window painfully, rather than making the smart choice of running out the front door. Obviously if placed in the same situation, I would not make the same stupid choices. If someone is trying to kill you, run... run for your life, into the bushes or just anywhere that is far away. Don't stay near the house or go upstairs.

Nudity seems to be a big horror movie theme and one that does annoy me quite a bit. I find it completely unneccessary for a woman to get her breasts out during a horror movie. The sexual relationship between the characters is not really important and the nudity does not relate to the story line at all. Of course I understand that it just makes the appeal of horror that much stronger for the average male viewer, but quite annoying for us females.

However the sweet bit of justice is that the girl who gets naked and is promiscuious will always come to a quick and painful end. Sort of give a sense of satisifaction when this character dies because they should not have been so skanky to begin with.

Then there is that totally unrealistic super-human aspect of the psycho killer or monster. No matter how many times you stab or shoot the killer, it seems to get back up at least once, usually twice. In many of these movies, the killer is supposed to be a derranged psychopath. Not some sort of super being. So they should go down with the same impact the rest of us go down with. But then the movie would be short and a little disappointing.

Finally, there is the fact that the psycho killer always seems to walk everywhere, yet still manages to catch up with the victims who are running full speed ahead. Are they all unnaturally tall and have extra long strides? I don't think so. I feel the killer should run a little more and earn their killings just that little bit better.

However, I still love horror movies and yes they are predictable and at times I want to shake some sense into the characters, but that is all part of the edge of the seat thrill.

Mazda 2

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:19:00 +0000

My new car was finally available for pick up today. My parents came along with me since my partner had an audit at work and could not get the day off. So finally it arrived. Only took a couple of months of painful waiting. And a birthday present from my parents two weeks delayed. That being my new personalised number plates.

I just took the car for my first test drive. Just a wee bit scary considering my old car is 20 years old and this is a 2008 model. Got to get used to the sensitivity of the clutch and brake but in a couple of weeks I should be zooming around like an old hand.

At least now I look fancy and professional, as my old bomb just was not doing my career path justice. Now I look the part and look pretty darn successful in the eyes of my peers. Not every 25 year old can say their second car was a brand new one. I'm not even sure I would have purchased a brand new car normally either. Only had to this time because I picked the colour and that was the only car available in that pretty colour.

Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 21:35:00 +0000

I know I am not the first to make this statement, but I hate Mondays. Not even just a little bit. I really generally despise them for so many reasons. Now it is not like this is a groundbreaking discovery or anything, because there are so many reasons to hate Mondays.

The biggest one is the fact that it is back to work day after the weekend. There is nothing more painful than returning to work after a weekend, especially if it feels like you did not achieve all that much on the weekend. Weekends go so quick, so that sinking, depressing feeling often starts as early as Sunday night in preparation for the dreadful Monday.

The worst thing is that Monday is usually a really busy day at work too, so there is no easy transition from weekend mode into work mode. You get there and within minutes you are flat out and stressed to the max.

It is often hard to get out of bed on a Monday also. You have adjusted to the relaxed weekend mode with later nights and sleep ins, and suddenly you're back to getting up with the annoying sounds of an alarm at an hour too early to even want to experience.

Then there is that feeling of dread knowing Monday is only day one of the working week. Another four days follow so there is absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel on a Monday.

So those are the reasons I really hate Mondays and I know on this particular Monday, I have so much work to do due to short staffing at work. Another thing I really hate. But on the bright side, there is a high chance I will be having tomorrow off to pick up my new car. At least that breaks up the week a bit.

Dear Mazda

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 11:44:00 +0000

HURRY UP AND GIVE ME MY NEW CAR!

I have been waiting 3 months already. Surely it does not take that long to build a car, put it on a boat and send it to Australia. You told me it would be ready earlier than I wanted it so I expected to have a new car on my birthday. Never happened. Now each time the so called pick up date gets closer, you delay it some more.

Will I ever get my new car?

Perhaps it fell in the ocean and you are trying to quickly replace it rather than tell me it fell off the boat.

Just get a move on. I want my new car now!

Regards
Impatient Mazda 2 Buyer

Stop And Smell The Roses

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:44:00 +0000

So often we get so caught up in life that we forget to stop and just enjoy the sights that surround us. Everywhere you look something beautiful can be found. Something small and simple that most days you will simply dismiss. However, every so often it is important to stop and notice these simple things. It helps to ground us.

Sometimes I like to just stop and observe something naturally occuring. This is usually something so simple, like my cat having a drink of water. Watching the unusual way her tongue flicks in and out of her water bowl until her thirst is satisfied. Makes me wonder how difficult it must be to quench your thirst without the ability to simply pick up a glass and upend it.

Or at other times, I like to watch an insect going about it's every day survival techniques, like ants scurrying around to find food before the next rain fall. I enjoy watching these tiny creatures carrying items so much bigger than themselves and it reminds me how easy most of us have it most of the time.

Sometimes it is nice just to watch your loved one sleep. Listen to the sound of their breathing and see them in their state of absolute contentment.

It is in these moments where I stop thinking about those things that might be stressing me out. I stop dwelling on what should be and what is not. Instead I focus on the here and now and take a moment to smell the roses.

New Car Further Delayed

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:34:00 +0000

I ordered my new Mazda 2 car in November. I told the dealer I did not want the car until my birthday, but my birthday was over a week ago now and the car never arrived in time. At the time of ordering, I was told it would certainly be there well before then and they would just hold it until I wanted it. That suited me fine.

Then only days before my birthday, I get the news that the car has been delayed. Still in another country in fact. Not even on the boat yet. So the notification states the car will arrive in Australia on the 25th of February. Over a week after I was due to pick it up. All my insurance and everything is set up for the date of my birthday.

So thinking okay, I'll rearrange my hoildays and get a day off the following week to pick up the car. Thinking Monday it would be available. Nope. Two days in customs first. So he tells me most likely Wednesday would be fine so I have arranged to have Thursday off work. Then I get a text message late Friday afternoon to say I need to give it 5 days after arrival before it is likely to be ready for pickup. At this rate, it is looking to be another week before I get the car. I am so sick of waiting. It has reached the point where I am not even excited about my new car. I am over it!

Was it worth the hassle? It better be!

Alcohol and the Effect It Has On Individuals

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 21:45:00 +0000

I am not much of a drinker personally. In saying that, I mean alcohol. Of course I drink other liquids. Water is my drink of choice. However alcohol is something I consume very infrequently, and when I do, generally very moderately.

Even I have indeed had my binge nights where I have ended up throwing up and completely incapable of doing the things that typically come natural. The most recent was two Christmas's ago when I thought it would be good to try and keep up with my partner's Polish family with the vodka shots. They kept pouring, so I kept drinking, thinking I was doing pretty damn good considering the person pouring had stopped actually drinking. Both myself and my partners younger brother ended up quite sick that night. That was my last drinking incident. I have not allowed myself to even come close to intoxication since.

However most people insist that drinking alcohol makes everything more fun. Even my own partner whinges if he has to drive somewhere, like one of his own band gigs. The horror of having to have fun without alcohol. It drives me insane. Then everyone becomes completely insane and annoying, whilst I stand there sober, wishing I was home or something.

A recent example of this alcohol effect would be the night before my birthday. My partner had too many beers at the birthday dinner with our families, since my parents drove us. So he went straight to bed when we got home but I was on holidays and it was almost my birthday so I stayed up for a while, until after midnight. Then I finally went to bed, leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek since he was out for the rest of the night. This kiss turned out to be a bad idea. His drunken, still sleeping response was along the lines of "F#$C OFF" before rolling over and cursing some more. Of course he has no recollection of this incident.

That same night I had been describing to our families how annoying he is when he is drinking. No where near as annoying as most people. He holds his alcohol well and rarely drinks to the point of effect. However on many occassions staying at my old house before we lived together, after a big night, I would wake up in the middle of the night to find him trying to open my cupboard. He was trying to find the toilet. And I must say the fright he got each time when I told him not to pee in my cupboard was somewhat amusing.

Alcohol makes the most normal people act in the most bizare and often stupid ways. Some drunks are funny. Some are aggressive. Some just cry. It does make you wonder though, why do people do this to themselves? Do they enjoy the sense of being out of control? Who knows. What I do know is that this feeling is not for me!

Ideations

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:53:00 +0000

I realise this is something a little different and probably does not fit in the blog at all but I needed to put it somewhere. Don't worry... I'm fine. Just thought it was time to write this down.

I work in a job that is predominately to assess risk and prevent prisoners from committing suicide within the prison environment. Many people have the perception of 'Why bother?' when it comes to saving the lives of these individual's, but they are people just like the rest of us, who (usually) deserve a chance just like the rest of us. It may not be an ideal job, but the unfortunate thing is that I can relate.

For most people, I believe thoughts of suicide are probably very rare, or just unheard of. Many people have probably had such a great life that they have not even considered this as an option, nor could they possible understand why other people do think along these lines.

Unfortunately for me, I am not in that group of people who have never considered the option of escaping. Unfortunately for me, thoughts of ending it all are not that uncommon at times. In my own mind, it happens enough to seem like a normal emotional response. It is automatic and not something I have control over, but sometimes when I become so incredibly upset about something, those thoughts will automatically take over my mind. I wish that were not the case, but it is.

The difference is I have enough insight not to act on these thoughts. I love my family and would never want to hurt them like I know losing me would. I am a psychologist and I know if it got too severe exactly what methods to take. I know where to seek help and how to go about it. Yet it is unfortunate that those thoughts are even there at all. And it is not like a frequent thing where I have a bad day at work, come home, think about killing myself. No, it is more along the lines of those very rare occassions when something is so incredibly painful emotionally that I cannot bare to deal with the emotions anymore and I consider the alternatives.

The thoughts were semi frequent at a time when I was seventeen and eighteen. They came and went along with waves of depression, possibly around the time I broke my foot and struggled to pass year twelve after so many days off. I was in the worst state at that stage of my life. Then I met my partner and for years, those thoughts were absent. Then a big, bad conflict happened a year or so ago and I thought about it again. Now I am more vunerable again and occassionally when we have very severe problems, those thoughts return. And it makes me angry that my relationship hurts me that way sometimes. But deep down I know it is never that bad. It is a temporary thing and it always gets better. It is just another bad phase in my life.

In the end, there is always a way to make things better. You are never so far down that you cannot pick yourself up again and if you are not strong enough to do it yourself, there is always someone to help you. If you do not have friends or family you can talk to, there are services who can help. Help lines, counselling services. Even your family doctor is a good option. Never resort to the worst possible solution. Find a better one and in time you will look back, happy with your life, and realise that would have been the biggest mistake you could ever have made.

Will I Ever...

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Will I ever have to stop waiting? Will my day ever come? Will there ever be true happiness for me?

Will I ever have someone love me enough to write one of those deep and soulful love songs about me? Or have a romance just like in one of those feel good movies with a happy ending?

Will my time ever come to be the one who is envied? Will it be my turn to be the one everyone else wishes they could be? Or will I always just be the one wishing I was someone else, living another life and having another person's experience?

Will I ever be the beautiful one or the one who others admire? Will others look up to me and seek my advice?

Will I ever reach that day sometime in the future when suddenly everything I ever wished for is a reality instead of a fantasy?

Hopefully that day is near, or perhaps that day has already arrived for some or all of those hopes. Perhaps I am just to blind to see.

My Favourite Feel Good Movie List

noreply@blogger.com (Harmony Sweetpea) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 04:32:00 +0000

We all have certain movies we can watch over and over again. And then there are those that always manage to cheer us up no matter how sad we are feeling. There are a few favourites I have that always manage to lighten up any mood. These tend to be extremly girly and totally embarrassing to some, but if they work. Go with it. I have even tested some of these on female friends having a rough patch and suprisingly, it works on them too.

1. She's The Man
2. What A Girl Wants
3. The Princess Diaries
4. The Princess Diaries 2
5. Just Friends
6. The Longest Yard (actually not girly at all)
7. Just Married

Then there is that movie us girls seem to punish ourselves with when having relationship problems: The Break Up. A definate no no when feeling down. It will only make you feel worse about your own relationship problems and unfortunately, instead of feeling sad and relating to the sad parts in this film, boys seem to think it is hilarious. Also very annoying!